Ixokai: the Experience

Gmail

Sat, 26 Jun 2004 07:46:28 GMT

So, I have a gmail account now. I was curious about all the hype so I bought one on ebay-- they're so cheap now! At work we decided to pass them out so we bought a 5pack of invitations for like 4 bucks. That's so amusing.

Anyways, I've been playing with it. I started by forwarding all 100+megs of email I have in my 'INBOX' on my server at ixokai.net to it, so i'd have stuff to play with, and search, etc.

Let me just say: I fucking love it. Seriousely. I never could /find/ email before, even though I always saved it.. And labels? Ingenius, a totally useful and amazing feature that obliterates the obsolete 'folder' concept.

Really.

I'm using it exclusively right now. My server forwards everything at ixokai.net to my gmail account, and so if i ever switch back I lose nothing.. but.. its so neat.

Mrmmm.

Paradise Lost

Mon, 21 Jun 2004 22:25:26 GMT

So, a friend of mine is involved in an Opera/play/theater performance thing that was showing at his school. At first I thought it was a school production, but it turns out it wasn't-- some students were just involved in being the choir and such. Anyways, I went.

Its called Paradise Lost, but isn't really connected to Milton; but it is all about angels and such, a sort of modern techno opera. I won't go into a lot, I'll just say: it was fucking awesome. I almost cried at one point... you hafta know me to realize that's significant. I've never actually cried over anything; movie, music, or books... but i get this stuffy 'almost' tears if something affects me a lot, and this actually did.

Check it out: http://www.paradiselosttheopera.com/

I do'nt know if its going to start traveling around, but if so, and it comes near you-- see it. Or if you're down here-- see it.

Seeee it.

Let's see. The rest of the day didn't go so well. I lost my cellphone, it got knocked into the sewers, but that wasn't bad. That was sort of funny. I have insurance so its no big deal, although i'm going to have to go file a police report to file a claim. blah.

Dunno, perhaps I was just in a bad mindset, but the night sucked. blah. No use going into it, though. Its the past, time to move on.

My boyyyyy

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 22:32:22 GMT

... spent allll weekend with me. It was much fun. Some highlights, in no particular order:

He still kisses really well

He is still extremely, extremely sexy.

He still, periodically, much to my distress, refuses to meet me in the eye.

He has a VERY bad habit of taking pictures of me!

He's stronger then me and I failed, multiple times, to wrestle his camera away.

He really likes the Irish Car Bombs that I introduced him to.

He's not as allergic to cats as he thought.

He doesn't like my cooking. Grr.

He's gonna hit me when he reads that :)

He's the cutest, sweetest, sexiest boy ever, ever, ever.

He doesn't believe it when I tell him that.

He liked watching Chronicles of Riddick with me. Whee. I liked it too.

Seeeeee?

The weekend wsa fun. I threw a bit of a gettogether on friday-- but, like, I don't want to go into that. Why? Cuz a friend already explained it with plenty of detail, so that's a waste of my energy :)

On other news, I have an intense desire to MUSH. Intense. Powerful.

But I don't know where to MUSH anymore. I want a WoD game. Yes, yes, I know. You're all ashamed of me. But I'll never find one. The one place I knew I could always get is now defunct. And the characters I wanna do, well, most people don't like.

I want to play one of:

A Mummy. Not from the original little sucky book, but from the nice new bigger book they made.

A Void Engineer scientist, earthbound.

An arrogant Gangrel leopard, very-very-very-odd, very-very-very-not-nice, but not quite as bad as a Sabbat, and not particularly combat inclined.

What makes it worse is that I hate chargen-level games, too! :)

waah.

I'll die dissatisfied.

Grr

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 10:11:29 GMT

I'd like to take this opportunity to say the following:

AAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has been the most absolutely, completely frustrating week in my life. Well, maybe not my life-- but in a long time. I haven't been in bed before 3am in four days. Why? Because i'm working.

Part of it is that I spent a great deal of time not solving a problem I was having, and that always sets my teeth on edge. Another part of it is an intense feeling that I'm not being paid enough for this-- not at all.

And there's other parts too, lots of little things which are just piling up.

At least tomorrow's friday, and Johnathan's spending the weekend with me. mmm. Assuming he survives my cat. (He's allergic; I washed sheets, and banished the cat from the bedroom, and will have a large supply of anti-allergy-drugs on hand. I hope I hope I hope.)

Now, one more time:

AAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... just for good measure.

The Chronicles of Riddick

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 03:22:30 GMT

Is anyone else as excited to see this movie as I am?

Let me preface this with a note: I am not a fan of Vin Diesel. Or however you spell is name. In fact, I really don't like him at all. And yet, at the same time, I must admit that I enjoyed Pitch Black and xXx. It is a begrudging admission.

But the reason i'm so looking forward to the Chronicles of Riddick has nothing to do with him, not really.

Its the atmosphere of the film that I see-- the Necromongers and their icons and ornate ships, their legions of glorious soldiers on a crusade... The fact that its all about shades of gray. I don't know-- it looks good. I always root for the villians-- and this is a movie lacking in "Good" guys. That's good.

mmm.. plus, i'm going to see it with my Johnathan, and my other friends. And my Johnathan is staying the night (maybe the weekend! if he can handle my cat w/ drugs).....mrrrowwl...

happy.

What type of queer are you?

Sun, 30 May 2004 22:06:21 GMT

WOW! What a suprise! You're an "Elite
Queer." Everyone knows you, you're
beautiful, always in style, mommy and daddy buy
you everything, And the most popular in the gay
scene

What kind of queer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

We are displeased.

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 14:15:22 GMT

Exactly why does he(http://www.livejournal.com/users/cheshcat/) get minions, and I do not?

Flirt?

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 00:48:16 GMT

You Are a Super Flirt!

You have almost every guy under your spell, and you totally work a room

You can charm almost anyone you desire - including your friends men

Sometimes your flirty ways arouse jealousy from others, but it's all in fun

You secertly crave another super flirt who will put you to the test

What Kind of Flirt Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Whee.

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 19:26:29 GMT

So a friend-of-a-friend posted one of these, so...

Name one thing you wish you were good at. Athletics
Which two famous people would you like to meet? Sean Connery, Nick Carter
What were the last three websites you visited? – Live Journal, Slashdot, webex
Which four places would you like to visit that you haven't? Itaily(Rome, Florence), Japan, London, Amsterdam(whee).
Which five things would you take to a deserted island? Grr.
What six food items could you never do without? Cheese, Bacon, Garlic, Beef, CHEESE!
What are seven of your favourite objects around the house? The computer, Tivo!, my pet rock, my couch, my bed, um... did you /have/ to select seven??
What are eight street/road/avenue/highway names you have been down? –
101, 134, 210, 5, 10, ....
List nine things that are in the room you are currently in. Computer, dorky-coworker, phone, empty cans, cellphone, burl off of a redwood tree, sticker saying, 'My cat can beat up your cat', bottle of pre-made, ready to drink 'Tarantua Azul Margarita'
Which ten words or sayings do you use in day to day conversation?
"That's irrelevent"
"Stephen speaking, how may I help you?"
"No."
"Why?"
"You're an idiot."
"Why are you doing /that/?"
"/What/ are you doing?"
"... Ya'll ..."
"Oh, baby."
"Get to work!"

The Name

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 18:48:07 GMT

So, the Name that i've been tossing about in my head, that I like best, is:

Tristan Alexander Day.

I want a relatively rare, not-short, 'cute' sounding name. What do I mean by 'cute'? Well, some names just strike me as, 'An appealing person is attached to this name' Matthew has always been that way for me. Cameron, too. The middle name should just roll off nicely, like, 'Tristan Alexander' does. Doesn't that sound nice?

As for the last name-- well. My great-grandfather hired a firm to do a genealogy search on my family, and my oldest named descendant was named Dae/Day. Soo....

Ren

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 15:58:15 GMT

So, my name is Stephen. Yes, Hi, nice to meet you.

There are too many Stephen's in this world. I work with four others, in a company of about 40 people, one of which sits very close to me, the other of which I work with on a daily basis. That's difficult; customers call me and babble for five to ten minutes with me in utter confusion until I realize they think i'm the other Stephen.

I've slept with two Stephen's, one of which was a fairly prolonged affair, the other of which was a one night stand. That's awkward to say the least. The homosexual community seems to have more then their fair share of Stephens, which means i'm likely to do this again.

So, I'm thinking of changing my name. I won't share my favorite option, yet, because you will make fun of me. No, i'm not joking. :)

Developments

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 03:08:36 GMT

Life is good.

Why? Because that's a rule. I don't allow things to interfere with my life to make it not good. All in all this rule tends to work out for me. I get over things that upset me easily, and surround myself with people who encourage goodness in life.

Lately its been even easier! I spent the night with Johathan over the weekend, we hung out all night and snuggled until like noon. It was so nice. He's such a cool guy :) I bought jeans, and I even have a cellphone now! If you think you should know the number, let me know. I might tell you.

Sorry this is so terse, but, well-- its hard to cram four days into one post!

Er.

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 17:58:30 GMT

First of all, i'm bad at subjects. Forgive me.

Secondly: eep. For some reason I just ran over to MySpace, and while there checked out Chad's profile. Who's Chad? Chad is a guy I fell completely, totally, madly in love with. It ended badly. He was a marine, and a month before he went to Iraq he stopped talking to me. No warning, no word. So for the next six months I was a total wreck. Every time the news said some marine died, I couldn't breathe.

He had another boy-- which I found out about by accident-- and so he chose him over me. That's fine. The point is, he never said 'Goodbye' or, 'We're done'.. He just stopped talking to me. Needless to say, that sucked.

Anyways: that's just history. I'm over him now-- mostly. I don't think i'll ever be totally over it because I don't think it completely goes away if you feel like that about someone. It occassionally still hurts. Like now, when I went to his page and saw the lovestuff about him and his boy.

Gah. I wish I could just delete that entire episode from my life.

First Formal Date

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 16:49:01 GMT

So, last night was my first 'formal' date with Johnathan. By 'formal' I don't mean a suit and tie, I just mean going out-- just the two of us-- to spend time together at a prearranged time.

It was nice. :) He looked SO DAMN CUTE I just wanted to molest him on the spot. I was such a good boy, though. We walked through Old Town Pasadena, which is a really nice place, and came to this cute little coffee shop around a little corner. They had hookah. However you spell it; basically, big assed bongs with flavored tobacco. Yes, tobacco! It felt so odd to smoke a bong in public and not look around for the police.

We then went in and cuddled on one of the couches. I liked that; we weren't in a gay area but we were being affectionate anyways. I've never really done that. We weren't bad, just cuddling and a little kiss here or there.... no worse then the straights who were around. It was really relaxing and just warm. Did I mention he had the softest skin EVER?

So, we then went out to dinner. After checking out the options, we decided on cheesecake factory. Mmmm. I like watching him eat. Isn't that weird? Eating looks almost sexual for him-- he gets this intensely pleasured look on his face and makes little happy sounds all the time. Its very entertaining.

After this, we went back to the coffee shop, socialized a bit, then after midnight we went for a walk through the park.

It ended with us talking while playing on the swing set. That was great. :)

*wistful sigh*

Nervous?

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 23:48:49 GMT

So, I'm going to go out with Johnathan tonight. We're going to go to dinner and then just spend some non-WeHo time together; this'll really be a first. And I find myself terribly nervous. I have no idea why. We've gone out like five times so far, and I've never been nervous except a little bit the first time.

What the hell?

My morality!

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 21:15:21 GMT

Your Moralising Quotient is: 0.07.
Your Interference Factor is: 0.00.
Your Universalising Factor is: 0.00.

Are you thinking straight about morality?

You see very little wrong in the actions depicted in these scenarios. However, to the extent that you do, it is a moot point how you might justify it. You don't think an action can be morally wrong if it is entirely private and no one, not even the person doing the act, is harmed by it. Yet the actions described in these scenarios at least seem to be private like this and it was specified as clearly as possible that they didn't involve harm. Possibly an argument could be made that the people undertaking these actions are harmed in some way by them. But you don't think that an action can be morally wrong solely for the reason that it harms the person undertaking it. More significantly, when asked about each scenario, in no instance did you respond that harm had resulted. Consequently, it is a puzzle why you think that any of the actions depicted here are of questionable morality

Hm. It seems confused by some of my answers. I answered in a couple of places that I thought an action was 'a little wrong', but that nothing should be done to prevent the person, and that if a society/culture permitted it, it was OK. Why? Because my culture or indoctrination tells me some of this stuff is wrong. I don't buy into it fully, but can't totally rid myself of the 'this is bad' reflex or feeling. At the same time, I do not judge anyone elses morality for what they do if it harms no one else.

What's your morality? http://www.philosophersmag.com/bw/games/taboo.htm

Courtesy of the pet

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 20:48:22 GMT

Ice Crystal is a thoughtful, soft-spoken pony. He's not the type to take the limelight, but takes pleasure from seeing his friends do well. Though quiet and calm, he has a creative streak that shows when he feels motivated. Gentle-mannered and cool as ice, Ice Crystal is the charmer of the group.

.... er

	Cheer Bear You're the Care Bear cheerleader! Your spunky personality and optimisim lifts everyone's spirit. Though you want everyone to be happy, you stand your ground on issues you feel strongly about and this can bring disunity among your friends. Despite this, you are a true believer in working together.
*Take the Which Care Bear Are You?* Quiz!**

... *cries* make it stop....

swoon

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 06:43:33 GMT

So I just got off the phone with Johnathan. We talked for almost two hours. To understand that, you have to realize that I hate phones; hate hate hate! I never talk on the phone to anyone, really. I'm usually like, 'So. Yes. Okay. Hi. Er. Bye!' and I run away as fast as possible. But we keep having these long, funny, cute phone conversations.

*giggle* I'm so crushing on that boy. Sooo badly. Tomorrow we're going on another date. Whee. This time something fairly normal ;-) We're going to go out to dinner! and maybe a movie. Yay.

I can't wait.

Mwhaha.

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 22:36:29 GMT

I'm a militant sodomite!

http://www.godhatesfags.com/

and

http://www.godhatesfags.com/fags/fagsvskids.html

*giggle*

Those people are so funny.

Although the Reverend looks down right evil! I mean, that 700 Club guy who is evil, doesn't actually LOOK evil. But Phelps does.

See? http://www.godhatesfags.com/main/phelpsbio.html

giggle

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 23:10:05 GMT

I lean in and peer across the counter of the porn shop, drunk off my cute little butt, and ask the nice man on the other side, "What are those?" I'm pointing at these little bottles, you see.

The nice man says in a bored tone, 'VHS head cleaner." I blink, and find this terribly odd. Even though its a porn shop, and there's lots of VHS tapes around, it just strikes me as odd. So I blink, lean farther across, and say, "Huh?"

He gets this grin on his face, and says, "Also known as poppers. I'm not supposed to say that, though. Just like those 'tobacco smoking accessories' are not bongs."

I blink, and say, "Oh! I've heard of those. I'm bored. Give!" And he does.

Me and my friends proceed to giggle for like two hours. Whee.

Beware this post, its infectious.

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 21:47:15 GMT

A meme is a 'mind virus', well, its sort of complicated. See: http://www.memecentral.com/

Now, here's one that infected me recently, and that I had to spread. It has since spread elsewhere in the days that have passed..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Diarrhea: Lubricant or Deterrent?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Isn't that the most disgusting thing you've ever read? *shudder*

Mmm.

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 21:34:25 GMT

Donkey dogs. Rat dogs.

So, you're out one night, drinking your cute little ass off, and shaking it to see who's interested, and towards the end of the night you think: "Gosh, I need something in my mouth, and then in my tummy." At that point you might find someone to take home, or, if you're there not to get laid but to have fun, you might decide to go for the more traditional nourishment.

At the side of the street is the person with a little stand that is sort of a portable stove, covered in sausages and onions that are cooking away. Each of those sausages are wrapped in bacon. Yes, bacon. You've avoided them for a long time, not really liking hot dogs much, and thinking of all the exotic plagues that may be growing in this sidewalk cafeteria.

But that's because you never noticed the bacon before. Your friend tells you, "There's bacon." and you pause, giving this strange eatery a new, considering look. You shrug and decide to give it a try, and hand over three bucks. The bacon-wrapped sausage, covered in mayo, mustard, ketchup and, if you're into that sort of thing, onions, is handed over to you. Oh, yes. There is bacon there. How could you ever miss that before? Bacon wrapped around sausage. How could you ever have missed that before?

Still, you're afraid. You can picture the terrible things that are growing in this improperly cooked, plagued-infested thing. Your friends call them 'donkey dogs' or 'rat dogs', and that doesn't really make you feel any better.

But you're brave-- or, more accurately, drunk-- and so you take a bite.

And you experience heaven on earth. Bacon, sausage, and all those condiments.

It's beautiful.

Whee

Sat, 10 Apr 2004 21:43:09 GMT

So, the pet has a new girl he's interested in, and he wanted me to meet her. I also wanted to hang out with Jonny, and so we had to find a place to relax, drink, and get to know everyone. My place is obviousely out (the ex wouldn't be terribly thrilled), and the pet's roommate had his children over, so! We rented a hotel and filled it with more alcohol then you can shake a stick at.

Only one couple had sex that night, and it wasn't me! But I got to snuggle with Jonny boy all night. There might have been more-- but the silly dolt didn't eat at all that day and didn't tell me before we started drinking, because he didn't want me to have to buy him food. Pfft! So the Jack hit him hard. It was still fun though, and we had a nice snuggly morning.

Isn't puppy love grand?

Greetings!

Mon, 28 Apr 2003 07:47:22 GMT

Hello! In an age long forgotten, there was a being known only as Ixokai, who breathed... blah

Nevermind, I'll stop trying to be creative, I'm too tired! Point is: I made this long, long ago and never wrote in it.. and that's going to change. So congratulations all, You are about to get a glimpse into the mind of Ixokai. Its a place not often visited, so don't mind the cobwebs, please.

ixokai(ix-o-kai)

It means nothing, absolutely nothing. That's why I like it-- it is me, uniquely and totally me. If you do a google search for it, you'll show up me asking a lot of really stupid questions on mailing lists. Go ahead, try it. You’ll see.